More fluffballs

If it were easy, it would have been your mom

This morning I was offended when my operating system presented me with the option to "Turn off Yo Mama" rather than allowing me to "Turn off computer," which is what I really wanted to do. Does someone at Microsoft think this is funny?

Are you running Windows? Go to the Start Menu, and pick Log Off --> Switch User, and then look at the note in the bottom-left corner. Perhaps I'm not the only one suffering from this indignity. At least this didn't happen on Mather's Day.

Spring food

A friend brought me a fruit from Turkey.

I like it, although it's hard, unripe, and a bit tart. In this country, we usually wait until later in the season to pull it off the tree. Does anyone recognize it?

Which is more?

"Which is more, the green part of a tree or the brown part?"

"Obviously the brown part is more."

"But what about a kachtus?"

"A kachtus is not a tree."

Beards vs. Neck Beards

For those of you who were wondering why my beard is so stylish, I'm reccomending this link.

Alternatively, follow the recommendation of the link-ee and search google.com for "how to have stylish beards."

More opera clips

Well-written Oregonian article and video highlights from Tuesday's performance of Tonya & Nancy. Click on "Multimedia."

The 72oz. Steak Challenge

Big Texan restaurant in Amarillo, Texas is offering FREE 72oz. steaks. The only catch: you have to eat the whole thing in one hour. Check out the list of recent "champions," with their hometowns and weights.

Entry fee if you didn't finish: $72.

Is TOT limit computable?

One autumn evening, a boy came to visit the old man. As the boy approached, the old man noticed that the boy was holding one arm behind his back.

"I have a bird," said the boy. "Tell me if it's dead or alive."

The boy knew how to outsmart the old man. The bird in his hand was still alive. But if the old man replied "alive," he would crush the bird's neck. On the other hand, if the old man thought the bird was dead, the boy would open his hand and let the bird fly off.

Replied the old man, "As you wish, my son. As you wish."

Hey everybody... it's RAGHAV FRIDAY!!!

Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav Raghav

Sourav's new mousepad

Damn good practical joke. Wacka wacka

Bull's-eye

Margaret Hunter gets in the newspaper

Someone should make an opera about tonight's opera Tonya & Nancy. When asked about whether she's going to attend the opera, skater Nancy Kerrigan replies,

"I lived it, what do I need to watch it for?"

And then composer Abigail Al-Doory says,

"I really should have done a string quartet."

In dramatic conclusion, Tonya sings,

"I think I'm like the Energizer Bunny."

That's it, I'm walking

What's wrong with this picture?

"I live fifteen miles from the grocery store. Gasoline costs $3.00 per gallon, and now I spend $6.00 just to travel to the store. Can't somebody just dig up a chunk of oil in Alaska and save our country from extraordinary gas prices?"

I just wanted to say thank g-d that average Americans have the foresight to suck it up for a couple of years while we suffer indignant gasoline prices. But how can the average person possibly afford to pay for transportation nowadays?

The answer is, what the hell are you doing living 15 miles away from the grocery store/school/garbage dump that you travel to every single day. And the question isn't necessarily how to pay for the gas. Rather than acquiesce to necessity for a car in the city, some iconoclastic Americans reason, "what's wrong with the city that we need a car?" People in England survive with paying $6 per gallon for gas, so somehow, they figure, this must be possible.

Let's look at what happens when gas prices go up. People don't want to drive too far, so things get closer together. In fact, the grocery store comes to you. That's because there's a demand for it. High fuel prices may well bring our communities back together.