The Spaceship Problem

Help!! The UFO has landed again!! Call Spaceship Hotline 91-146-32! Just kidding, happy April Fool's.

Not long ago, I reported on the PIG vs. NPIG problem, the most outstanding problem in all of livestock. A remarkable solution to this problem has been proposed. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it's out of this world. In short,

The PIG puts the NPIG on a spaceship and then hits the green LAUNCH button. Due to physical effects of relativity, The PIG then easily consumes all of the grain in polynomial time by time-dilating the NPIG. The PIG then hits the red STOP button and brings the NPIG to a grinding halt. It is, of course, crucial that the NPIG accelerates at a rate proportional to the appetite of the PIG, up to the critical speed of 88 mph.

Consequently, the PIG-Turing thesis is false.